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そんなんじゃ泣けない

 小説で何をいかに書くか。この「いかに」の方法論への無自覚さが、なんとも耐えられない。主人公の大事な人は、半分くらいのところで病気で死ぬわけじゃん。それを、何の芸もなく書き綴ったって、そんなんじゃ泣けないよ俺は。いや泣く人がいたっていいよ、特に若い人はね。感受性が豊かというより、あんまり読む蓄積がないからハードルは低いやね。でも、書く人はそんなことでいいの? 泣く人がいればいいわけ? まあ、正直、泣くやつも泣くやつだ。そんなのを「感動」なんて呼ぶんじゃない!
 ピチカート・ファイブの「陽の当たる大通り」の陽気さの裏にある正体=絶望感を、

キリンジがカバーによって暴いている(36:22~)。「死ぬ前にたった一度だけでいい/思い切り愛されたい」・・・なんという渇望と断念。

フェイバリット/鼻紙/甘やかな身体/燃え殻/クレイジーサマー/Love is on line/Drifter/陽の当たる大通り

 これが「読解」と「再創造」だ。こういう高度な連鎖に触れると幸せを感じるなあ。偽悪醜に苛立つのは、もう疲れたよ。真善美に埋もれて逃避したい。

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