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三善晃「響紋」

家族が2階のトイレを使いたがらなくなった。

三善晃や武満徹の本が積んであるから、怖くて「出ない」のだそうだ。

「疎開から戻ったあと、東京大空襲に遭ったのですが、累々と死体が横たわっている上を私はまったく無感動で死体を飛び越えて歩いていたのです。天に向かっ て突き出ている死体の指を引っ張ったら、手袋が脱げるように肉が取れた。多摩川で水遊びしていたら、隣にいた子供たちが機銃掃射で真っ赤に血を流して死ん でしまった。それを見ても、自分はただ着替えて自分の家に帰ってくるだけなのですね。その後、私は40、50代まで、生きていることの罪の意識から離れ ることが出来なかった。疎開で飢えて歯磨き粉や絵の具も食べてしまった。畑からイモを盗んできて、やはり飢えている妹にはやらずに自分だけで食べてしまっ た。私は早く死ぬべきだったと、生きていることの罪を思い、さいなまれるのです」(三善晃

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いつもありがとうございます。
時々立ち寄らさせていただいております。
大変ためになり、また、たくさん記事はありますが、そこはかとない哀しみが漂っていて、自分としては、何故か、とても落ち着く部屋のように感じています(笑)

文章もわかりやすくかつ内容が深いですね。
とても勉強なります(__)

ブリ大根さん、こんにちは。他人が見ても分かりにくい自分のメモみたいなことを、たまにしか書いていないので、大変恐縮します。今日は久しぶりに来て、響紋を聞いて鳥肌を立ててすっきりしました。また書くことがないか考えてみることにします。

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