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椎名林檎はロッテ・レーニャへの道のりを歩いているという妄想

あるキーワードで検索したら自分のブログがヒットしたので、過去の記事に久しぶり目を通してみたが、面白くも何ともなく、ただ気恥ずかしくて仕方がない。いわゆるブロガーさんという人たちも、これと同じようないたたまれない気分を味わっているのだろうか。というようなどうでもいい記述自体が、後から読むに値しないものだとは思いつつ。

東京事変の新しいアルバム「大発見」を全曲プレビューして、新しさとは文字通り未知であるということを実感した。未知の世界に踏み込むということは、失敗のリスクが不透明に高く、それが実際に成功しているかどうかというのも、しばらく後になってからでないと正当に評価できないということだ。

いま最大の評価を得るためには、既知の要素の割合を増やせばいい。しかし、それでは長い目で見てスイングが縮こまってしまう。弾が遠くに飛ばなくなってしまうのだ。正直、いまの椎名林檎に老いや衰えのかすかな影を見ないわけではない。しかしそれは、それこそロッテ・レーニャの晩年のような風格あるおばあさんとして歌うための、ひとつの避けられない通過点だとしたら。

通過点、過渡期ほど、いたたまれないものはない。できれば中途半端な真似はしたくないものだ。しかし、そのいたたまれなさを回避していては、のちの収穫は得られない。…しかし、長すぎる下り坂だ。しまいには膝も崩れて倒れこむことになるだろう。それでも、例えば椎名林檎がいま、いつかロッテ・レーニャとなるまでの過渡期を精一杯生きているのだとしたら(これは単なる私の勝手な想像というか想定だが)、自分も自分の気恥ずかしさやいたたまれなさに頭を抱えていてばかりはいられない。

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